Our Bodies Betray Us in Tight White Spaces
I am writing this as a “go sis!” to my friend Alicia, who posted this in response to the Lecrae interview. She raises a good point, and her insight inspired this blog.
Being in a fat, Black, queer body is an isolating intersection.
My presence, though mystique, is also a critique. People who prefer external rather than internal accountability will smile in your face and put up no protest when they know you've been erased. Anti-Blackness remains the thorn and Achilles heel in every American endeavor. We can ignore it or deal with it by listening to those who have actualized themselves in a world that told them they were nothing.
I know so many black womxn, with accolades and degrees who are not given opportunities or platforms because of the ways they disrupt and expose, and in that way every space no matter how liberal can feel like a tight white space.
I wrote an 11-page academic response to Lecrae's misstep but it won't get read because of the dynamics that are at play (Alicia points out). Being in Black skin keeps us from passing, and our subsequent absence keeps people from asking the deeper questions that would save them from perpetuating harm.
Spaces that haven't unleavened won't invite you to the table, fearing you might flip it. Even when that’s not the intention, it seems that asking who set the table and what’s in the bread comes eerily too close for comfort.
When rewards in this society are linked to whiteness and our proximity to it—exposure threatens job security. Empire connects money and livelihood to the propagation of whiteness, and/or the silencing of dissent and it’s a powerful tactic to mitigate coalition building and change.
If we are serious about mitigating harm though, before we ask what others are willing to give up, we must ask ourselves if our platforms are built on solely critiquing others without self-examination.
Everyone must grapple with anti-Blackness, not just those of us with Black skin who combat it daily. My body and being sometimes betray me, even in spaces that claim freedom and progress but don't truly want it.
The laziness of not addressing the root because it might implicate "inclusive" spaces as tight and white is no different than my experiences in evangelicalism. The apostle Paul said it this way: "The whole head is sick."
If we want change we can’t be afraid of it. I have personally been in actual offline conversations around these topics with some incredible black womxn in several spheres and many brave points.
I can vouch for their voices as trustworthy starting points for references on negotiating “somebody-ness” when no one is looking: