The Already Not Yet of Freedom

This year, I am celebrating the “already not yet” of freedom. On the one hand, I am more myself than I have ever been and on the other, I am discovering more and more about who I really am each day.  

I am a queer, nonbinary, Black woman, and I’m daily becoming me. 

I live, move, and have my being at the intersection of two powerful and prophetic identities, which given the climate in our country, makes me incredibly afraid at times. But this year, I am refusing fear, resisting hate, and embracing freedom, and I learned to do all of these from Jesus.

Every June is a moment to reflect on the ways that being black and queer have shaped me, saved me, and sent me on a quest of self compassion, love and confidence. But Juneteenth and Pride are hitting differently than they ever have before. I think I’ve figured out why.

Juneteenth is the commemoration of the emancipation of my actual ancestors from slavery, it’s not just a historical marker for me. It is a reminder of the indomitable strength that courses through my veins. In the wake of the 1968 assassination of MLK Jr. who fought for the  full inclusion of African Americans in the United States, riots broke out across the country. 

Then, less than two years later, a group of protesters outside of the Stonewall Inn in San Francisco decided they too, had had enough of their lack of inclusion. Two groups of people, equally fed up, equally resilient. There was no way that the God whose name heralds freedom would let that inheritance continue to lie dormant inside me. After all, no one lights a lamp and hides it under a bushel.   

I think that is what is resounding in me as I celebrate both Juneteenth and pride. My emancipation happened only 3 years ago and though it may be fresh, it is not fragile. 

There is no going back. That’s why we celebrate. 

We celebrate the presence of freedom, not arrival. Freedom that is both already, and not yet.  My existence and experience reminds me daily that there is still a long way to go. But, I will celebrate anyhow. I inherited from my ancestors a strength that withstood unimaginable trials.

These moments hold profound significance for me, because I remember what it was like not to love either of these identities.

I remember what it was like to not be free.

And  just like my ancestors, upon hearing the news that the trajectory of their lives–as tumultuous and messy as it would be– was pointed in the direction of liberty and justice. 

They believed “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Change takes a long time, but it does happen. It’s a creative process.

In light of the convergence of Juneteenth and Pride, my mantle as a nonbinary Black woman feels weighty yet empowering. It is a mantle that carries the stories of my ancestors, the struggles of marginalized communities, and the triumphs of those who came before me. It is a mantle that demands my voice to be heard, my experiences to be acknowledged, and my existence to be celebrated.

But this mantle is not a burden; it is a source of strength. It allows me to navigate the world with a unique perspective, challenging societal norms and expanding the boundaries of love and inclusion. I am a vessel for the dreams of those who could not freely express their identities, for the voices that were silenced, and for the possibilities that have yet to be realized.

This year, I proudly embrace the beauty of the "already not yet" of freedom, knowing we have not arrived but we are headed there. I carry within me the history, struggles, and aspirations of my community. Through my very existence, I embody the resilience and power of black women and the LGBTQ+ community, pushing boundaries and reshaping the world around me.

Together, in the spirit of Juneteenth and Pride, we can dismantle oppressive systems, challenge societal norms, and create a world where every individual can thrive in their unique identities, become themselves more and more, and celebrate freedom that is realized even if it is not yet complete. 

Let us carry the mantle of our ancestors with pride, shaping a future where true freedom and liberation are not merely ideals, but lived realities for all.